2009 | Haines His Way

THE BIG DECISION (December 28, 2009)

TODAY I SHALL NOT BE RUMINATING (December 27, 2009)

THE POSTING OF THE POST-CHRISTMAS NOTES (December 26, 2009)

MERRY CHRISTMAS! (December 25, 2009)

MUCH ADO ABOUT THE DO (December 24, 2009)

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (December 23, 2009)

GETTING GIDDY (December 22, 2009)

MAKE THE YULETIDE GAY (December 21, 2009)

THE POWER (December 20, 2009)

YOU WOULDN’T KNOW IT BY ME (December 19, 2009)

THREE HAIL MARYS (December 18, 2009)

THERE ARE DAYS AND THERE ARE DAYS (December 17, 2009)

THE MEANING OF GUMMY WORMS AND THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS (December 16, 2009)

LEADING THE WAY (December 15, 2009)

MUSICAL NOTES (December 14, 2009)

THE BELATED BIRTHDAY DINNER (December 13, 2009)

THE WEEKEND IS HERE (December 12, 2009)

THE CHICKEN AND THE WAFFLE (December 11, 2009)

WHY I HATE THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE (December 10, 2009)

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (December 9, 2009)

WHEN I’M SIXTY-TWO (December 8, 2009)

HAGIOGRAPHY (December 7, 2009)

THE BOOK FAIR (December 6, 2009)

THE PERFECTLY BORING NOTES (December 5, 2009)

CRACKED (December 4, 2009)

VAGUELY SCOTTISH (December 3, 2009)

THE PROCRASTINATING ME (December 2, 2009)

THE DANCE OF DECEMBER (December 1, 2009)

THE GAZEBO (November 30, 2009)

THE LEOPARD-SPOTTED DICKIE (November 29, 2009)

TO A “T (November 28, 2009)

STUFFED (November 27, 2009)

GIVING THANKS (November 26, 2009)

THIS IS APPROVED (November 25, 2009)

ATTACK OF THE MUPPET PEOPLE (November 24, 2009)

POMPADOURS AND PAGEBOYS (November 23, 2009)

THE TROUBLE WITH E-MAILS (November 22, 2009)

I’LL THINK ABOUT IT TOMORROW (November 21, 2009)

THE STARING OF THE PAGE (November 20, 2009)

THE F WORD (November 19, 2009)

PRESSURE POINT (November 18, 2009)

THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT (November 17, 2009)

SHINE IT ON (November 16, 2009)

THE eBAY CONUNDRUM (November 15, 2009)

FEELING FRUITY (November 14, 2009)

I AM SO EASILY AGITATED (November 13, 2009)

CHAMPAGNE POLKA (November 12, 2009)

EGG SALAD (November 11, 2009)

WARM COCKLES (November 10, 2009)

THE ANNIVERSARY (November 9, 2009)

THE BIG TO-DO (November 8, 2009)

THE SORT OF INTERESTING DAY (November 7, 2009)

THE MOUSE WITH NO BALLS (November 6, 2009)

LET’S NOT SUGARCOAT IT (November 5, 2009)

WEAVERS FROM FLANDERS (November 4, 2009)

IT’S NOT NICE TO FOOL MOTHER NATURE OR BK (November 3, 2009)

WAYLAID BY EXTERNALS (November 2, 2009)

SWEET NOVEMBER (November 1, 2009)

HOBGOBLINS (October 31, 2009)

A PARADE IN TOWN (October 30, 2009)

MR. BIG (October 29, 2009)

WINDY (October 28, 2009)

DANCIN’ (October 27, 2009)

PITH (October 26, 2009)

PROPAGATE (October 25, 2009)

ONE OF THOSE DAYS (October 24, 2009)

THE SOUPY SHUFFLE (October 23, 2009)

THE FINE ART OF BALLYHOO AND SHOWMANSHIP (October 22, 2009)

GO, GO, GO (October 21, 2009)

SECONDS (October 20, 2009)

WRITING THE NOTES (October 19, 2009)

AWAY WE GO (October 18, 2009)

A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN (October 17, 2009)

OBER (October 16, 2009)

CASTING THE CAST (October 15, 2009)

WET (October 14, 2009)

NOVOPAIN (October 13, 2009)

THONGS FOR TODDLERS (October 12, 2009)

THE MISSING SHORTS (October 11, 2009)

MIXING IT UP (October 9, 2009)

MAKE IT ANOTHER OLD-FASHIONED, PLEASE (October 9, 2009)

BANANAS (October 8, 2009)

MY HEAD IS DOING A LINDA BLAIR (October 7, 2009)

ANATOMY OF A CD (October 6, 2009)

PROBABLY (October 5, 2009)

DIGNITY, ALWAYS DIGNITY (October 4, 2009)

BK AND THE HOLY GRAIL (October 3, 2009)

KUMQUAT (October 2, 2009)

WELCOME OCTOBER – THE TENTH MONTH (October 1, 2009)

THE SHIPPING NEWS (September 30, 2009)

BLOWING SWEET (September 29, 2009)

GETTING CROWNED (September 28, 2009)

TOO MARVELOUS FOR WORDS (September 27, 2009)

BK GOES TO THE OPERA (September 26, 2009)

THE MACK (September 25, 2009)

THE TABLE READING (September 24, 2009)

BRASS TACKS (September 23, 2009)

BALANCING ACT (September 22, 2009)

FILLED FUN (September 21, 2009)

ME TIME (September 20, 2009)

HAPPY NEW YEAR ON RYE (September 19, 2009)

LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE (September 18, 2009)

THE LOVELIER THAN LOVELY DAY (September 17, 2009)

THE BEST OF INTENTIONS (September 16, 2009)

THE RAGING HEADACHE (September 15, 2009)

THE NEEDLE AND THE NUMBNESS (September 14, 2009)

NOTES IN WALTZ TIME (September 13, 2009)

IN SESSION (September 12, 2009)

NOTES ON THE RUN (September 11, 2009)

BACK IN THE SADDLE (September 10, 2009)

FRESH AS A DAISY (September 9, 2009)

THE TUESDAY THAT FELT LIKE A MONDAY (September 8, 2009)

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST (September 7, 2009)

CANASTA (September 6, 2009)

THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND SANS LABOR (September 5, 2009)

THE ME WEEKEND (September 4, 2009)

JOSEPHINE (September 3, 2009)

WITH IT (September 2, 2009)

TRY TO REMEMBER THE KIND OF SEPTEMBER (September 1, 2009)

FANCY FREE (August 31, 2009)

THE GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP (August 30, 2009)

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM (August 29, 2009)

CALIFORNIA, HERE I COME (August 28, 2009)

THE BROKEN RECORD REDUX REDUX (August 27, 2009)

PUTTING IT TOGETHER, BIT BY BIT (August 26, 2009)

THE VODKA CRUST (August 25, 2009)

THE TRIP (August 24, 2009)

A TRAVELIN’ MAN (August 23, 2009)

THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS (August 22, 2009)

I, A FIEND? (August 21, 2009)

THE TWITTERING GAZELLE (August 20, 2009)

THE EARL OF SANDWICH (August 19, 2009)

TEMPEST IN A TEAPOT (August 18, 2009)

THE DAY OF REST THAT WASN’T (August 17, 2009)

CHUMP CHANGE (August 16, 2009)

THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS (August 15, 2009)

APT (August 14, 2009)

THE INSTALLATION OF THE DIGITAL HI-DEF THINGEE (August 13, 2009)

THE ROUSING NOTES (August 12, 2009)

THE WITH IT AND HAPPENING ME (August 11, 2009)

WHY DO WE COLLECT? (August 10, 2009)

NOVELTY ITEMS (August 9, 2009)

PENNY LOAFERS AND EGG CREAMS (August 8, 2009)

DROWNING IN A MORASS OF BORING DETAIL (August 7, 2009)

LORD LOVE A DUCK (August 6, 2009)

MR. DINTHER HELMUT AND THE SEVEN MILLION POUNDS (August 5, 2009)

THE NOVOCAIN HAZE (August 4, 2009)

DISTRACTED (August 3, 2009)

SILAS MARNER (August 2, 2009)

HELLO, AUGUST! (August 1, 2009)

THE AMAZING DISCOVERY (July 31, 2009)

BUT I NEVER OWNED A LEISURE SUIT (July 30, 2009)

MITZI (July 29, 2009)

GOLF (July 28, 2009)

SHOWMANSHIP (July 27, 2009)

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE (July 26, 2009)

HAMLET NACHOS (July 25, 2009)

ONLY FRIDAYS (July 24, 2009)

NOTES-WISE (July 23, 2009)

NOTES WITHOUT FLAVOR (July 22, 2009)

SUB-HUMAN CREEPS (July 21, 2009)

AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID… (July 20, 2009)

LOST IN LOST (July 19, 2009)

THE HOLLYWOOD SHOW (July 18, 2009)

FLY DOES TIME (July 17, 2009)

HIGH INTO THE GUMS (July 16, 2009)

CLEAN TEETH (July 15, 2009)

ADVENTURES (July 14, 2009)

THE THROES OF DOING (July 13, 2009)

ENIGMA VARIATIONS (July 12, 2009)

THE DOWN AND DIRTY NOTES (July 11, 2009)

I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE (July 10, 2009)

JUNEBUGS IN JULY (July 9, 2009)

RERUNS OF HAZEL (July 8, 2009)

YESTERDAY WAS BETTER THAN THE DAY BEFORE (July 7, 2009)

I’LL TELL YOU NO LIE (July 6, 2009)

COUNT YOUR CALORIES INSTEAD OF SHEEP (July 5, 2009)

INDEPENDENCE DAY (July 4, 2009)

COLON CLEANSER (July 3, 2009)

HERBIE AND LEADVILLE JOHNNY BROWN (July 2, 2009)

THE JULY DANCE (July 1, 2009)

THE LAST OF JUNE (June 30, 2009)

FERSHLUGANAH (June 29, 2009)

APPLESAUCE (June 28, 2009)

THE WACKY WEEK (June 27, 2009)

THE SURREAL DAY (June 26, 2009)

SOMETHING IS IN URANUS (June 25, 2009)

I’M A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, I’M A LITTLE BIT ROCK-AND-ROLL (June 24, 2009)

WHO LOVES YOU, BABY? (June 23, 2009)

NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE (June 22, 2009)

CAST ALBUMS (June 21, 2009)

MY NEW OBSESSION (June 20, 2009)

BUSH TRIMMING (June 19, 2009)

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES (June 18, 2009)

PHASE TWO (June 17, 2009)

THE NUDIE REPORT (June 16, 2009)

YOUR STUNT C**K IS HERE (June 15, 2009)

RACING AGAINST THE CLOCK (June 14, 2009)

THE DANISH NOTES (June 13, 2009)

INSANITY (June 12, 2009)

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO APPROACH A PROBLEM (June 11, 2009)

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED (June 10, 2009)

KRITZERLAND REBORN (June 9, 2009)

THE VERY BUSY WEEK (June 8, 2009)

TONY TIME (June 7, 2009)

THERE’S A RAINBOW ‘ROUND MY SHOULDER (June 6, 2009)

WHITHER THE WEATHER (June 5, 2009)

MY OWN SWEET TIME (June 4, 2009)

THE YAHOOS (June 3, 2009)

THE LAZIEST GUY IN TOWN (June 1, 2009)

THE MIGHTY TIRED BK (May 31, 2009)

A FRUITFUL DAY SANS FRUIT (May 30, 2009)

BUSY LITTLE DAY (May 29, 2009)

CURMUDGEON (May 28, 2009)

SHAKE AND BAKE (May 27, 2009)

BACK TO WORK (May 26, 2009)

EASY BREEZY (May 25, 2009)

WE’RE GONNA LET IT ALL HANG OUT (May 24, 2009)

SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL (May 23, 2009)

SENSURROUND (May 22, 2009)

TITLES (May 21, 2009)

WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW (May 20, 2009)

I’M DOIN’ IT (May 19, 2009)

WARP SPEED (May 18, 2009)

WIRED (May 17, 2009)

UNTIL THAT TIME (May 16, 2009)

BLEARY-EYED AND BLU (May 15, 2009)

HIGH DEFINITION (May 14, 2009)

A HAZE OF A DAZE (May 13, 2009)

TV IS DEAD (May 12, 2009)

HEY, LA, I’M COMIN’ YOUR WAY (May 10, 2009)

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE (May 10, 2009)

DON’T RAIN ON MY PARADE (May 8, 2009)

THE THING (May 6, 2009)

DON’T HOLD THE MAYO DAY (May 5, 2009)

PLEASE, DON’T SQUEEZE THE CHARMIN (May 4, 2009)

FRUITY SNACKS (May 2, 2009)

THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY (May 1, 2009)

MR. KIMMEL HAS A VERY LONG MEMORY (April 30, 2009)

IF I WERE A RICH MAN (April 29, 2009)

A NUDIE TUESDAY (April 27, 2009)

THE THINK SYSTEM (April 27, 2009)

THE SOUND OF MUSIC (April 26, 2009)

AIN’T MISBEHAVIN’ (April 25, 2009)

AN OGDEN NASH FRIDAY (April 24, 2009)

TIME WARNER STRIKES AGAIN (April 23, 2009)

PINK (April 22, 2009)

HOW BEAUTIFUL THE DAYS (April 21, 2009)

WHAT I MISS (April 20, 2009)

GOOD INTENTIONS (April 19, 2009)

THE BORING NOTES (April 18, 2009)

AND ALL THAT JAZZ (April 17, 2009)

VICK’S INHALER (April 16, 2009)

PEANUT BUTTER PIE (April 15, 2009)

HIGH TIME (April 14, 2009)

A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC WITH ADOLESCENT TENDENCIES (April 13, 2009)

SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE (April 12, 2009)

FURDD (April 11, 2009)

THE DOOZY (April 10, 2009)

ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (April 9, 2009)

A DEATH IN THE FAMILY (April 8, 2009)

AFTER ALL THE LOVES OF MY LIFE (April 7, 2009)

ME FOR THE SEESAW (April 6, 2009)

THE PENNY-A-WORD MAN (April 5, 2009)

THE COMING WEE (April 4, 2009)

MISS CHANNING CANNOT SING TODAY (April 3, 2009)

THE ARRANGEMENT (April 2, 2009)

WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I (April 1, 2009)

LIFE IS A CABARET (March 31, 2009)

THE COLLECTOR (March 30, 2009)

THE ACT (March 29, 2009)

NOTES FOR A LOVELY SATURDAY (March 28, 2009)

THE SHOW THAT GOT AWAY (March 27, 2009)

CUE TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC (March 26, 2009)

RAPPIN’ (March 25, 2009)

WEEKDAY HEROES (March 24, 2009)

LIKELY STORIES (March 23, 2009)

THREE DIMENSIONS (March 22, 2009)

DO YOU KNOW THE MILKY WAY? (March 21, 2009)

THE GOOD ONE (March 20, 2009)

TOGETHER AGAIN (March 19, 2009)

2009 ENTRIES (March 18, 2009)

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS (March 17, 2009)

START AT THE TOP (March 16, 2009)

THE EMERGENCY NOTES (March 15, 2009)

FORGET-ME-NOT LANE (March 14, 2009)

GOOD ACTOR! (March 13, 2009)

ROUND EVERY CORNER (March 12, 2009)

THE SINGER, NOT THE SONG (March 11, 2009)

THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS (March 10, 2009)

THE MUSE (March 9, 2009)

AND THIS IS MY BELOVED (March 8, 2009)

THE TIME PEOPLE (March 7, 2009)

THE ART OF ARRANGING (March 6, 2009)

TIME CAPSULE (March 5, 2009)

THE HARVEY SCHMIDT STORY (March 4, 2009)

THE REAL A (March 3, 2009)

CHILL PILL (March 2, 2009)

CONTEMPLATING MY NAVEL (March 1, 2009)

THE FAT AND THE LEAN (February 28, 2009)

FIND THE FUNNY (February 27, 2009)

WHAT’S WHAT (February 26, 2009)

A RHYMING FOOL (February 25, 2009)

MOMENTUM (February 24, 2009)

THE BUSY WEEK (February 23, 2009)

ON THE SUBJECT OF OSCAR (February 22, 2009)

THAI A YELLOW RIBBON ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE (February 21, 2009)

THE WORLD IS A CIRCLE (February 20, 2009)

THE MALADY LINGERS ON (February 19, 2009)

THE SAVAGE BREAST (February 18, 2009)

WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE (February 17, 2009)

THE LIKES OF ME (February 16, 2009)

THE DAMN NOTES (February 15, 2009)

MY FUNNY VALENTINE (February 14, 2009)

FRIDAY THE 13TH OR THE THREE HUNDRED POUND ALBANIAN WOMAN (February 13, 2009)

CONDIMENTS (February 12, 2009)

THE PSYCHEDELIC NOTES (February 11, 2009)

FLATBUSH (February 10, 2009)

BALLS (February 9, 2009)

FINISHING THE BOOK (February 8, 2009)

LISTEN TO THE RAIN ON THE ROOF (February 7, 2009)

IN THE THROES OF THE THROES (February 6, 2009)

A BROKEN RECORD (February 5, 2009)

PARDON MY FRENCH (February 4, 2009)

WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR? (February 3, 2009)

VALLEY OF THE DILLS (February 2, 2009)

FEBRUARY WITH AN R (February 1, 2009)

THE LAST OF JANUARY (January 31, 2009)

JOYCE KILMER’S TREES (January 30, 2009)

THE PLANETS (January 29, 2009)

PALAZZO PANTS (January 28, 2009)

WANDERLUST (January 27, 2009)

THE IMPONDERABLES (January 26, 2009)

WHAT BECOMES A LEGEND MOST? (January 25, 2009)

MY TREATISE (January 24, 2009)

THE THREE Z’S (January 23, 2009)

SHAKALAKA FISH (January 22, 2009)

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS (January 21, 2009)

GOOGLING THE GAZELLE (January 20, 2009)

OVER THE WEATHER (January 19, 2009)

THE WEARY BONES (January 18, 2009)

THE EARLY SHOW (January 17, 2009)

GLUTEN (January 16, 2009)

TWISTS (January 15, 2009)

A WEIRD SORT OF MOOD (January 14, 2009)

A PIECE OF MAHLER’S (January 13, 2009)

GIBBERISH (January 12, 2009)

SUNDAY – A DAY OF NO REST (January 11, 2009)

WAXING BRAZILIAN (January 10, 2009)

KNEADING A JEW (January 9, 2009)

SO FAR, SO GOOD (January 8, 2009)

THE OLD GRAY MARE AIN’T WHAT SHE USED TO BE (January 7, 2009)

A HISTORY OF THE GIRDLE (January 6, 2009)

TAKING MY SWEET TIME (January 5, 2009)

A CERTAIN TRANQUILITY (January 4, 2009)

NO SHILLY-SHALLYING (January 3, 2009)

A NOVEL BEGINNING (January 2, 2009)

Archive for 2009